cdcstudios.com | portfolio v8.1

Today’s the day I finally do what’s right for my Boys, my family & my friends. The day I stop waiting to be happy. the day I stop giving up. Here are 25 resolutions that I am making for myself to work on daily, hourly, minute by minute or second by second.

1. Stop being angered. I’m going to counseling tomorrow and will go everyday if I have to until I can feel good about not yelling at people or making people feel threatened. Intimidating or hurting others is anathema to who I am and how I wish to be. I may never have struck anyone in anger or not but I will not let my temper rule me.
2. I’m going to deal with my depression, my conflict and my overall stress level when it happens instead of waiting for things to get too heavy for me to bear.
3. I’m going to go back to work and accomplish my goals if I cannot do so through my current situation I will find something better and stick with it to provide better security for my life.
4. Never spank my children at all. I know it’s harder to discipline children when you don’t use spankings but I don’t enjoy it and don’t want to do it anymore.
5. I’m going to find happiness again, first in myself and then in others. My friends and family used to be my sole source of happiness since deep inside I haven’t really been happy with myself since I was young. I will find happiness in myself.
6. I’m going to prove to myself that I can be who I want by making myself a better person. I am a good person that has let personality flaws, faults and issues cloud my judgement and actions and that is not who I am or who I will allow myself to be perceived as.
7. I’m going to stop smoking by the end of the year. Done. I need to be healthy for myself, my boys and smoking only wastes money and causes health problems.
8. I’m going to stop eating unhealthy food. I eat far too much junk food. I will only be eating real food and not processed junk anymore.
9. I’m going to stop drinking unhealthy beverages. Beer, wine, soda all of it. Done. I need to be healthier and consuming so much soda isn’t good. I don’t drink much but every little bit helps.
10. I’m going to exercise. I keep saying I need to lose weight and get in better shape but keep making excuses about it. That stops now. I’ve spent the last couple mornings doing situps and pushups soon I’ll be doing some jogging. I need to be healthier about myself in every way.
11. I’m going to stop sitting on my ass and start living life. All too often I’ve come home from work exhausted and instead of spending quality time with my family I chose to zone out watching tv. That’s done. I need to return to the days of reading, learning and spending real quality time with those I care about.
12. I’m going to stop talking so damned much. Odds are if I’ve talked with someone I’ve tried to dominate the conversation. I don’t know the reasons why but deep down maybe I just feel that I need verification of my opinions. Or it could be I just crave the attention.
13. I’m going to set myself a budget that allows me to save money every month and pay back and pay off bills in the past. Getting ahead instead of languishing behind.
14. I’m going to stop using the internet as much. I retreat into my vice of using the internet too much. I’m not a gaming addict or porn freak or anything like that. I just love the shear amount of information the internet provides but I turn to it as a distraction too much for it to be healthy.
15. I’m going to start thinking before I speak. All too often my mouth has spoken things I didn’t mean and didn’t ever want to say or have caused me to drone on and on about nothing instead of truly knowing exactly what I wanted to say. That stops now.
16. I’m going to find confidence again, since the birth of my son Mikey I have struggled with depression over affording bills for my family, the stress of a job I didn’t like and by deep feelings of letting my family down. When I lost that job I felt crippled by zero confidence in myself. I need to regain the strength I felt and to feel confident again.
17. I’m going to improve my self esteem. I am a good person and have made mistakes and been misunderstood but I am a good person and have good ethics and morals.
18. I’m going to clean my garage and get rid of things I don’t need. Material items all too easily distract from people. I’m going to be a better neighbor and colleagues. I need to be there for my neighbors & coworkers when they need me.
19. I’m going to take more time for my friends instead of time with my friends.
20. I’m going to listen far more than I speak. I run at the mouth to hide my own insecurities. It only serves to make me look foolish which reinforces my insecurities.
21. I’m going to make sure I understand something before I say I do. All to often I’ve said I understand while leaping instead to wrong conclusions. That’s not fair to other people or myself.
22. I’m going to respect myself, my friends and family more than I do now and show that respect in my interactions with them.
23. I’m going to give up politics, all it does is frustrate or annoy me or worse yet, makes me wallow in negativity. No more. I’m concerned about the future of our boys but not to the point of it overshadowing my relationship with them.
24. I’m going to stand up for myself and be heard truthfully. In the past I’ve had issues with lying but when I met my wife I stopped all that. I didn’t want to do anything like that for her. While that’s a noble intention I don’t want to lie (even white lies) for myself first and foremost and then my family.
25. I’m done giving into the fears and doubts in me. Those parts of me are not healthy and will no longer be allowed to exist. If I sense fears and doubts that only serve to cause me turmoil, they’re gone.

All of this starts now or started September 24th and will be an ongoing effort to align how I am with who I want to be. I’ll likely be updating every day now with a quick note of which ones I feel like I am improving and which I need to work harder on.

Related Posts

• The road to redemption is a hard path to travel....
• Introspection (or revisiting the past for fun and profit)...
• A letter to Zandr & Mikey...
• A new boy! Welcome Michael Patric O’Rourke into the world...
• Let it Be…the answer to your heart...