An Open Letter to George Lucas

Dear George Lucas,

I am pleased to note that you’re bringing your Star Wars franchise to Blu-Ray, really I am. I just really think the whole “Han shot second” crap undermines the story (him coming back to help Luke loses all meaning if he’s not established as a douche).

The fact that every couple of years you decide to change the films in major rather than minor ways illustrates you have problems with revisionism. You can’t keep changing the films to suit your newest ideologies. You need to make new films to do that, not alter old ones. The reason the films made so much money in the first place is that you told a great story with some cool special effects

Since you started on the prequels, you’ve forgotten the story and only added special effects (which, contrary to your opinions, don’t actually improve movies). I think I heard you say at least once “it’s the story stupid”, though that might have been your talented, good friend Steven Spielberg. Who, speaking of him, really should have had you beaten repeatedly for the abomination that was the last Indiana Jones movie.

What you’re doing to the Star Wars universe is worse than anything a Sith lord could ever do to it. Just stop screwing up beauty,and count your piles of cash or something. The fact that you’re incapable of figuring out that you’ve become an awful director (in spite of those previously mentioned piles of cash usable to hire competent people) worries me greatly since it’s been 4 years almost since you announced a Star Wars tv show. The fact that you’re helming it makes me think it’s quite possible that finally you’ll top the Christmas special and release something so terrible that it is quickly outlawed for being toxic and a crime against humanity (yes I in fact mean something worse than “Tremors” the tv show).

If you truly care about your characters and want Star Wars to continue to be a popular beloved franchise, stop mucking it up already! The South Park guys hit the nail on the head: you’re sick, you need help, and all you’re doing is slapping a coat of new, cheap paint over the original masterpiece.

Sincerely,

A lifelong Star Wars fan (in spite of what you’ve done to the series).