Growing it out wasn’t too big of an issue until it hit that irritating in-between state where it literally couldn’t be anything than a mass of curly nonsense.

Prepping to get my hair cut.

Other things I’d forgotten about having long hair:

1. My hair is REALLY curly when long. This means tangles.
2. It’s REALLY big when long anytime it gets humid. I live in Portland, Oregon. It rains heavily here, which means “Poof!”
3. People treat you differently if you haven’t shaved on Saturday AND you have long hair.
4. The winter time is nice for keeping your neck warm.
5. I used much more shampoo and conditioner which got expensive.

The bag containing my hair ready to ship to Locks of Love

All in all while a few people gave me grief about it (including one recruiter who hounded me weekly until they saw a picture of me and said “charity shmarity, long hair is unprofessional”) I got many congratulations and compliments for daring to buck the short hair on men business trend.

Going to give it another try in a year or two and hopefully will convince 2-3 others to do it with me. Hell you even get a free haircut at the end if you have Great Clips cut your hair when you go to donate.

There is so much more that can be done but with the excellent Locks of Love organization you can literally just do your normal routine and then after it grows enough; you can help make a small difference in a child’s life!

Instant clean-cut, just simply remove hair

Granted many of you can’t grow your hair for a variety of reasons, there are literally hundreds of

different ways that you can make a difference in the life of someone. Donating blood, old clothes, your time, your expertise all are ways you can do good in your own community!

Happy birthday son! It’s been 3 years since I first got to hold you and all of those beautiful moments in between as you’ve grown, learned and developed into one of the most awesome people I know.

I’m so proud of you and of how big you’ve gotten. I’ll be coming up to see you next week and am so excited to give you your birthday gifts and take you shopping for cool stuff! I can’t wait to see you!

I’m sorry I’m not able to be there with you this birthday but I hope you enjoyed the cupcakes I sent you. You are a little champ and I miss seeing your face and experiencing that side scoot lap sneak attack you learned shortly after you first learned to walk. There are so many moments and incredibly cool things you do and I love all of them. You’re my son and I love you very much!

You’re 3 now and I love you and am always thinking about you and your brother too!

Love you son,

Daddy

TSA

to the tune of the Village People’s YMCA

Young man, there’s no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, ’cause you’re flying to town
There’s no need to be unhappy.

Young man, there’s a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you’ need to feel aglow.
You can stand there, and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.

It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A.
It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A.

They’ll grab everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the TSA boys …

It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A.
It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A.

You can get yourself xrayed, you can have a good meal
You can do whatever if you just let them feel …

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want it to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.
But you’ve got to choose this TSA groping!

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your keys on the shelf,
And just go get groped by the T.S.A.
I’m sure they will grope you today.

It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A.
It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A..

They’ll grab everything that you need to enjoy,
You can groped by all the TSA boys …

It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A.
It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A.

You can get yourself xrayed, you can have a good meal,
Just so long as you let them feel …

Young man, I said take off your shoes.
I said, you look like you got the terrorist blues.
I felt him check if my bottom was tight.
I felt the whole world was so leaning right …

That’s when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, take a walk to your gate.
There’s a  place before there called the T.S.A.
Why not get hired since groping’s your way?

It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A.
It’s fun to get groped by the T-S-A.

They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys …

T-S-A

It’s fun to stay at the T-S-A
Young man, young man there’s no need to feel down
Young man, young man take yourself to the T.S.A. ground

T-S-A

then just go to the T-S-A
young man, young man I was once in your shoes
young man, young man I said, I was down and out with the flying blues.
T-S-A.”

You know, I like flying. I really do. What I don’t like though is a system that hearkens back to the first time I played Half Life 2. We’re a free country so why do I have to stand in a line to be sexually assaulted or get inundated with xrays that even airlines are telling pilots not to use? Yeah the people who fly our planes are told to get sexually assaulted rather than get xrayed. That should tell you something. Our government officials heading up the TSA think that sexual assault is not a big deal for travelers.

The good news is once you’ve found the knowledge it does get easier, not instantly but every moment it eases fractionally. The situations (yes plural) I’m in right now all seem to be at root the same issue, ultimately that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that each situation has a lesson to be learned. Some of them are painful lessons, some are sad lessons but really they’re all good lessons so long as I take something away from the situation. What’s even better is the very act of trying to dig yourself out of a hole the right way means you get more lessons and even better a greater understanding of how to be a good person. All you need to do is hold onto that inner strength and your faith in yourselfand there’s pretty much no hole you can’t escape. It’ll just take time, belief and above all the strength to fall back from time to time. Throughout all of this I’ve discovered far deeper reserves of strength then I knew I had, now I know that I can withstand far more pain & hurt than I even thought possible. That strength has stripped away most of the fear, anger and depression that had been clouding my mind and leading me  into far more holes than needed.

Namaste :D

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

We all await the answers to our hearts, to the questions in our souls. I used to think that the fear that the answer wouldn’t be what you want was the worst thing of all. Not at all I know now, quite to the contrary. The hardest part is waiting with baited breath, every cell anticipating, needing to know, needing that sense of resolution and knowing that no matter what there is no way to hurry it along, no way to have the solution, no way to resolve things without patience. Now that I know that it’s a lot easier to find the strength to just wait and focus on what it is that’s important: health, humility and above all being comfortable with lack of control :D

Thank you Beatles for pointing that stuff out to me :D

This weekend was a cathartic kismet roller coaster leading me to and fro inside and outside of my heart. Almost like an acid trip only of sobriety and understanding. If I didn’t know better I’d guess I dreamed all or most of it. all in all it keeps leading me back to what I somehow always knew to be true but even more bizarrely somehow forgot for awhile, I love my wife, my lady, my best friend, my confidant, my lover. I love you Zoe and I’ve been giving some thought to what you said to me the last time we spoke.

You’re absolutely right, there is no way we can go back to the early days of our relationship, our marriage….I don’t want that. It wasn’t stable or all that healthy. I want something more and you deserve something more. I want an incredible loving, passionate, respectful marriage with you. I love you with all my heart and am doing my best to leave you alone right now even though all of me wants to fight for your heart. I understand now that talking isn’t the way to fix us. Me fixing our finances, budget, my attitude and my anger is what it will take to do so. I am fixing all of that as well as I can and just hope it is enough for you.

Namaste!

To all of the new friends I made this week and to those friends that have been my guides through the wilderness I’ve travelled heart and soul through the last 30 days I thank you from the bottom of my heart and appreciate the clarity, growth, acceptance and above all understanding you’ve given me.

I am not entirely blameless in the situation, an ugly disease called depression struck a silent sneaking blow to who I am, who I had been to my family and how I wanted to be. I can’t take that back, I can’t undo the mistakes I’ve made or ignore them. While I may not have noticed the depths of despair and fear in my heart over the last 15 months due to the illness, I am still responsible. I hurt my family in subtle yet massively painful ways.

My goal since October 12th 2005 has always been to do right by Zoe, and to truly love her without condition. When Zandr was born I felt the same for him, and the same with Mikey. Sadly due to fear of failing them and an inability to cast away self doubt I let myself spiral ever downward into a place where I could no longer feel anything but anger, sadness and despair turned inward towards myself. A need to push everyone I knew away from me, because I felt..I knew I was a failure. It made me numb.. The worst part is I couldn’t see it even at the end. It took me losing everything important to me to wake me up from the horror I’d become. That whole time is there replaying in my head fuzzily. It’s like I was in the backseat of my own brain wanting desperately to scream but I had no voice, no ability to reason with myself. My heart knew the truth, that Zoe, Zandr & Mikey had captured my heart and soul from the moment I met them, but I could not think it or know it any longer.

Depression is an evil evil disease that can cause good people to do bad things or at the very least make them incapable of making the right choices. Even now that I’m a few weeks into treatment for it and am finally painfully aware of how bad I became, I can still feel it probing at my heart looking for a way to once more take the reins and lead me back down. I’m crawling out of the hole finally. It sadly is something that has to be done alone. Only I can find the path back to unity of my heart and soul, I have guides in the form of therapists, counselors & medication but the act of healing comes from within. I do want to thank the people who have given me advice & have spent time with me to ease the burden weighing me down though. Each moment is different and some are almost unbearable. I disagree with some of the things they’ve said but the feeling of support makes me still listen.

Every day has been a struggle, at night I fight back against the pain of loneliness in my empty house. The feelings of home and happiness now just a memory. I don’t know how to make amends to those three amazing people who inspired me to be a better man. I’m sorry I failed to realize their hopes for me. I took in their love and cast back sullen sadness no matter how much I wanted to rejoice with them in the amazing journey of life. I turned my back on my best friend, lover and wife. I turned my back on our two amazing joyful sons. Instead I let fear, doubt, & distrust rule me. Did they do anything to deserve this? No,  That my friends is what love is. Doing what is required of you for the betterment of each other and sacrificing for happiness. I used to know that and knew it intrinsically with every cell in my body and every facet of my soul. Depression took that knowledge and locked it away for a long terrible dark time.

I will not let myself fall back into the pit of despair, I have found once more that which makes me a good man. I have forgiven myself for I knew not what I did. I can not forget for I will bear the scars for the treatment I gave my loved ones till the end of my days. I will not ever let myself stop being the good person I know I am.

This is what you’ve come to Republican party: hysterical demagogues with no respect for the law, the constitution, or their fellow Americans.

Below is the text of my letter to Congressman Joe Wilson:

Rep. Wilson

You should be ashamed of yourself and apologize to the men and women of the great state of South Carolina, & the duly elected President of the United States for your abhorrent behavior during the President’s speech. During the past 8 years the democratically elected Congress was respectful throughout any appearance by the former President. It is surprisingly unshocking to see the Republican party unable to maintain, honesty, integrity, decorum or basic respect for the office of the President. It’s behavior like yours that made me leave the Republican party. The adherence to fearmongering, stalling and every underhanded tactic the party could use to amass more power. Power for what? amassing more power. What need have we of that? Does it help me ensure a better future for my sons? No. It serves only to feed more power to those who have shown over the last 10 years their inability to govern on behalf of their constituents but instead to govern on behalf of fear and profiteering.

It saddens me to see a party that once was a noble and inspiring group fall so far. Make an effort to truly do what is best for America and not the bottom line of a corporation. Your voting block is struggling financially, overwhelmed by medical bills and all you and your party can do is “stall” and say it’s fine. Last I checked you receive medical coverage from the government. What makes you more special than any other American? The elected representatives are supposed to be our brightest people, not our greediest.

Sincerely,

Chris O’Rourke
Father, Husband, American.

1. If you had one tweet to summarize yourself what would it be?

“Redheaded, polyamorous, badass, tattooed, intellectual freak of nature. Wife, mother, friend, lover, complicated, musical, passionate.”

2. You won a pretty prestigious scholarship recently. What was it and how has it affected you?

I was awarded the Ford Family Foundation ReStart scholarship.  It is an amazing scholarship given to individuals over 25 who have limited college experience and are looking to educate themselves after devoting their adult life to raising a family or serving the community.

Being awarded the ReStart scholarship has been amazing for me.  I have been able to aggressively pursue the education I want at the institution I want without fear of having to pick up a full time job to help my family survive.  The scholarship is significant enough that I will also be able to graduate with less than $20,000 in student loans, which is amazing in this day and age.

3. I see you have a blog, what inspired it?

I began my blog in November of 2004, one month after I started reviewing adult toys for Freddy and Eddy; someone mentioned that a blog would be a reasonable step for me, since I love to write.  I had been a regular contributor on different forum systems and offered advice there, so it made perfect sense to begin a blog and start sharing the twists and turns of my life.  The self discovery and amazing journey has been a side benefit, but a pretty significant one.

4. You seem proud of your celtic heritage, what made you embrace it?

I think, honestly, I’ve been pretty well reminded of my heritage since I was young.  My grandparents brought home kilts for all of us after a trip to Europe when I was around 6 or so; my sister has hers framed in a shadow box and I plan to do the same.  Both of my parents are very interested in genealogy and have helped me study my family’s roots, which in turn got me interested in researching these people that I came from.  Beyond the bloodline, I have always felt a very real connection to Celtic spirituality and think that it is an important part of how I see myself.

5. Do you consider yourself a “sex blogger”

I sure do.  While I blog about things other than sex, my primary focus still tends to revolve around sensuality and eroticism.  I feel more at home in the “sex blogger” community than any other blogging “caste”, so to speak.

6. Since you’ve become a parent, how has that changed your sex life?

Well, that depends.  I think that my sex life has actually been more affected by my being a student than by being a parent, but both of those roles do directly affect my sexuality.  As a parent, I have responsibilities to care for my children and I expend a lot of energy doing so.  As a student, I have responsibilities to focus on my studies and do what it takes to get the most out of my schooling.  There difference between the two is that I can get help with parenting duties (can and, for the most part anymore, do get help) whereas I can’t ask someone else to do my studying for me and expect to learn anything.  Similarly, I don’t think that being a mom has adversely affected my ability to be a kinky, perverted sex goddess long term – in the beginning it took some reconciling my different roles.

7. You posted weeks ago on your blog that you “came out” about being poly to your speech class. Were you nervous?

Are you kidding?  I was pacing and ready to vomit going into that class, but I felt that if I was to be truly honest about who I am and what is important to me I had to find the courage to tell the truth about my family.

8. How did your classmates react?

Honestly, I was a little disappointed in the LACK of reaction.  No one asked any questions about polyamory afterwards, and only two of my classmates have said anything since then.  Both were positive and nonjudgmental about it, so I can’t complain there.

9. What inspires you about each of the following: parenting, education, technology, sexuality

I think, with parenting, what inspires me the most is the community of people I know and love.  My husbands and wife, my friends with children, other bloggers with children, Ian and Alicia Denchasy (of freddyandeddy.com), and realistically the entire support structure of friends and family I have surrounded myself with.  We all have different personalities and I see a great many wonderful things in each person that I can try to instill in my children.

10. What’s the most important object on the planet to you?

Object?  Oooooh, that’s hard.  I would say a computer, but that’s not entirely realistic.  I think the most important OBJECT on the planet to me is my cello.

11. Why is it so important?

All through my life, I have been a very subdued person.  Music is the only thing that brings out the passionate side of me, the personality that is always hidden behind these walls and defenses.  My cello has the strongest effect on me, and without that, without the opportunity to express my true personality, I am nothing.

12. Worst thing you’ve ever done to someone?

Heh… I had to think about this one for a LONG time.  I think the worst thing I’ve done to someone is put a rainbow sticker on a severely homophobic person’s car.

13. Did they deserve it?

Oh, she definitely deserved it.  Trust me.

14. How would you change the world to make it better?

I would magically make people tolerant to alternative lifestyles.

15. Favorite 5 bloggers?

Oh crap… this is a hard one. Besides you? The five that I’ve been following religiously the longest are:

• Twisted Monk
• Shay
• Ell
• Goose and Gander
• Bondage Blog

I have SO many more that I follow now, though, and have made a ridiculous number of blogfriends in the last several months that it’s ridiculously hard to answer that question without feeling like I’m missing a bunch of people.

If you’d like to learn more about Angela you can find her here:

@CelticFrog
SwelteringCelt.com (this is not very work safe so surf with caution)

President Elect Barack Obama

The turnout nationwide was massive. Early voters, and those brave noble souls who stood in line for hours in rain and sleet together did something historic. No matter if your candidates won or not, America proved the worthy nation that she is to everyone across the world. We may not be perfect, we may be unbloodied but we spoke together united as one, united in our abilities to speak our minds, our hearts and to exercise that right that makes us the grand democracy that we are.

To those many thousands that volunteered, working phone banks, fundraising, and working the polling locations across this great nation, I say on behalf of my wife, my two sons and myself: Thank you.

In more partisan news: My entire family is stoked beyond belief that the candidate who has the mix of qualities that will return our nation to that of respect throughout this whole world once more emerged the victor in a historic race.

The first black President, the first democrat to win both the popular vote and electoral college since Jimmy Carter. Now that the color barrier has fallen in the highest level position you can hold in the free world, the last black President. This election has proven that it’s not about the color of your skin anymore. It’s about your ability to do the job of governing the greatest country the world has ever seen, and guiding her through triumph and adversity in a way befitting her stature.

President Elect Obama, the people have spoken. We believe in you, we trust in you and we’ve got your back to give you all the help you need to untarnish our country, don’t let us down.

Thumb Up for Trees

“thumbs up” this page using Stumbleupon and they’ll plant a tree. How can you go wrong with that?

Tags: stumbleupon, arbor, earthday, tree, nature, environmental

us-elections-qi.jpg (JPEG Image, 824×1350 pixels) – Scaled (61%)

Apparently this chart shows that smart people voted for Kerry in 2004. It also shows that people with lower IQ’s tended to vote for Bush.
Is that elitist? Nope. Just proves that stupid people making decisions tends to screw the whole country. (just saying is all).

Tags: election, iq, stupid, smart, kerry, bush

NINJA New York, Home

It’s a ninja restaurant. Currently my wife and I are debating whether our boys should be raised Pirate or Ninja. (Obviously Ninja is superior).
I really would like to take my family here. Still curious how the food is served? Does it just appear on your table?

Tags: ninja, stealth, dinner, restuarant, nyc